If The Things You Did Religiously Had Their Own Religion

Weekly TV Show Followship

God(s):  Weiner; Gilligan; The Two-R'd Martin

Places of worship:  Not NBC.

Beliefs:  To find out life's true meaning would only be to spoil it.

The Church Of MORNING COFFEE And Latte Day Saints

God(s):  Keurig; He Who Writes The Names; Interns

Places of worship:  Most buildings.

Beliefs:  Don't even TALK to God before he's had his coffee ;-)

  

Orthodox Order Out For Foodaism

God(s):  Hub, Grub; The One Without Seams

Places of worship:  Your apartment.

Beliefs:  If one wants to experience deliverance, they should show thy true self within 20 minutes or less.

BenchPresbyterian

God(s):  Schwarzenegger; Rock, The; Ripped Elders Of Gymnasium

Places of worship:  Mondays: Back and Biceps, Tuesday/Thursdays: Chest and Legs, Friday: Cardio, Saturday: Sin Day

Beliefs:  All good things come to those who whey.

Phonotheism, the worship of the one true phone

Appostles:  Twitter; Snapchat; Instagram, son of Facebook

Places of worship:  Bed, toilet, car, school, toilet, work, car, toilet, couch, bed

Beliefs:  The age of enlightenment is now.  Or now.  Or maybe now.  One sec.

Church of SportsFantology

God(s):  He Who Is Paid The Most

Places of worship:  Fan Interest Level's I-IV: Internet, Level's V-VI: TV, Level VII: Stadiums, Level VIII:. Revealed only to those who reach Level VIII.

Beliefs:  You cannot measure one's life by their successes nor defeats, but instead, only by one's amount of fun they were having out there.

DankBudhism (and the art of transcendental self-medication)

God(s):  Siblings, Older; Celebrities, Stoner; He Who Discovered Leftovers

Places of worship:  Colorado, Washington, The Other 48 States

Beliefs:  No one has EVER died from worship.  Look it up.  Check the facts.

Faptism

God(s):  Jameson; Jeremy; That Hot Person You Saw On The Way To Work

Places of worship:  More places than you'd be comfortable knowing about.

Beliefs:  All men were NOT created equal.